How do you know when a woman's having a bad day?
There's a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her cigarette.
Where do you find a legless dog?
Wherever you left it.
I like my men like I like my coffee...
Ground up and in the freezer.
How do you fit ten dead babies into a small bowl?
Blender.
How do you get them back out?
Tortilla chips.
What's redneck foreplay?
"Get in the truck, bitch."
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Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock,
Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock,
Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
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